Heard Elton John talk about his new album on the radio.  The song he did on the Grammy show was better on the album. Sparse. It let the emotion unfold. The concept of place and home is something I’ve struggled with all my life.  Making a generic structure into a home goes beyond changing wall color or furniture.  People you surround yourself with transform a defined space into an undefinable personal reality.  The majority of us will never have the opportunity to be the first to create a physical structure from vision to reality. We inhibit a place infused with others hopes and dreams told in the intimacy of moment.  Paint and carpet start our nostalgia carried through a journey of ever more complicated lives.  The past contains an allure of better times.

Those of us who grew up with Kung Fu got our first exposure to Oriental wisdom.  The  Old Master’s lessons to Grasshopper burst out my subconscious when they are needed.  One time he was told to hold water in his hand. Has an open handed cup it slowly flowed away. A closed fist holds nothing.  The more we grasp for the illusion of the past offers, the more any of real discover of home disappears.  Home is changeable.  Some have no way to express a place call yours.  Trust and stability are the emotional framework everything hangs on.  A barrel full of monkeys.  

When those god like people in a child’s life violate one or both, Chaos becomes the broken framework of life.  We are all driven by the three basic needs of life.  Food, shelter and warmth.  That is a cave or box with walls.  Those of us with the lest defend those in a way others can’t or won’t understand.  With resources, the three needs are met.  Expectations are different.  Home is not has defined by strong emotions.  Those ties haven’t been challenged.  The strongest steel comes from the hottest fire.  

Those Gypsies find that fire in its absence.  When one spends any long periods of time away from what is considered home it causes a break in our personal time.  In pursuing fields of work that involve travel, shared time is split.  Each will have its own velocity.  We adjust to those important to us.  Extended time away involves an element of nostalgia that helps us forget time flows like water. Our imagined reality is amber. Where is the conflict between the two reconciled?  In the comfortable embrace of a favorite chair or old shirt.  

Many now understand the brutality of not having that comfort.  All the news contains a conflicted society.  Asking why will have many different answers.  The answers hide the underlying concept of Home.  Not having a place to rest.  Someplace to feel safe in is emotionally crippling.  There was a reason I enjoyed school.  My home, like many, was a battle field.  At 49 my attachment to a concept of place and home are the same.  

This was an attempt to put into words many emotions others have told me.  Mine is a clumsy path to express concepts of thoughts with imprecise language.  Thank you for reading this far.